Forgiveness...Finally! Part lll

      God wants you to see that He is, and has always been aware of your pain, your damage and the path it has brought you down so far. It is time to change the path and let God take you to healing waters that run deep.

       “God is the expert at addressing people in pain. Most of the Bible was written to hurting people.” Jim Berg tells us in his book Changed into His Image. We can’t hang onto the pain and be healed from it, and I believe that is the key to forgiveness—letting go of and receiving healing from the pain.

      He wants us free from hidden and stuffed anger, He wants us free from old hurts, and He wants us free to receive and offer forgiveness that lasts and sets us free to love those who have hurt us.

      Let’s look to Jesus our perfect example and the one who really and truly knows what suffering is, and yet the scriptures tell us that He looked beyond the pain, agony, and humiliation to the joy. There is joy to come, I promise you. God’s word tells us more about the suffering of Jesus and how His heart handled it.

      Let’s look at both the NKJV and the NIV translations as they are both important and tell us what this means. Hebrews 12:2,3 NKJV, “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” And also the NIV says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Jesus did not consider the pain He was to endure more important or impactful than what the end result of His suffering would bring. He was persecuted and did die rather than to live without any one of us, because if He didn’t die we would. Jesus looked to the eternal purpose for His suffering and He wants us to do the same.

     When you are tempted to think that all your suffering is for nothing or it has caused you so much damage just look to Jesus who knew the joy of saving you was far more important than what He was about to suffer! The scriptures tell us to consider what Jesus did and let it be the perfect example to us and what we have endured or are now enduring and by His example we can go on and know that there is joy to come. He wants you to consider the joy set before you when you show the world that it is possible to truly change and become a new creation in Him. And He wants you to consider the joy set before you and others when you help someone who needs the specific help God has now equipped you to give. Also, let’s not forget the joy set before all of us—eternity in heaven with the very one who suffered to save us!

      We must release our pain to Him and let Him show us just how beautiful our (once ugly) pain and damage is with His light now shining on it.

      Realize the pain has a purpose, but its purpose is ultimately to bring you to God, to be healed and made whole and then the purpose takes your healing and now travels another path, it is now a journey to show others who are hurting how our Great God healed you and made you a new creation in Him. How healing and purposeful to know that He can and wants to use us and what we have already been through to help someone else. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 (NKJV) tells us this, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Those verses tell us that we are to seek our comfort in and through Him—He is the “God of all comfort”, not just some comfort but all comfort. We are then to extend and give that same comfort to others who are now hurting. The reality that we need to be comforted is evident in the scriptures and it is not a “sore” subject with God as long as we are truly seeking healing and not just catering to and nursing our pain—let God cater to your pain as you let it go to Him. That may sound or seem strange, to let God cater to your pain, but remember it does have a specific, God-given purpose and He knows how to heal it and now turn it into His resplendent glory.

     We have to read and take hold of what the scriptures tell us about God, His plans for us, His purpose for us, His ways to obtaining those plans and purpose—then we can begin to let Him move and work in us, we can let Him have His way with us because He never means us harm. But in fact, He has an absolute perfect plan and we should enjoy letting God do whatever He will with us knowing that He has an eternal and kingdom purpose for all that we have been through.  

     Now that we can let go of the pain of our past and learn how to give and receive forgiveness the way God intended us to we need to consider and keep in mind a few things to help us so we are on the right track with restored, renewed and reconciled relationships.  First, let’s remember that none of this is possible without Jesus helping us. Second, obtaining forgiveness and extending it to others is going to take action on our part—we can’t sit idle and expect it to happen. The attempts done genuinely must also be done in our heart as well as our actions.

     Part of forgiveness and it being very real, active and lasting in us is that we not only learn how to effectively receive it, but also that we learn and understand how to effectively seek and ask for it from others. There is nothing worse than people attempting to make amends with each other and not doing it the way it should be done because what can happen are these sort of half- hearted apologies, “I’m sorry” you might say, “oh that’s alright” the other person says, but it is not alright and that is why there is an issue that needs to be forgiven, or (my least favorite) the no apology at all, let’s just act like nothing happened, and at least we are now speaking to each other again sort of pseudo forgiveness. Later when the first little irritation comes, boom, everything you ever did to each other explodes and now you are back to square one because all of the issues were not considered when they should have been. Get issues out and seek truth and healing for and from all parties involved.

     When we are truly seeking forgiveness and reconciliation we should do it genuinely and sincerely and we should ask for it in a way that seeks to restore a healthy and whole relationship, Jim Berg also reminds us of this, “I’m sorry or I apologize never address the matter fully. One can be sorry that something happened yet not assume any responsibility for it. ‘Will you forgive me?’ By asking forgiveness, a statement like this assumes full responsibility for the wrong and seeks a reconciliation between the estranged parties.” When we take the time to attempt restoration in a way that honors everyone who has been hurt we can be assured there will be true and genuine healing and in turn true abiding forgiveness.

     Genuine not looking back forgiveness is a gift from God. Human effort alone will not completely bring forgiveness.

      Even after forgiveness has been given or received, the devil will still plant thoughts in our mind’s towards those we have forgiven and vice versa. Remember, the mind is the battlefield and thoughts alone are not sin, it is what we choose to do with those thoughts that can birth sin. Don’t let thoughts of the offense or the offender keep haunting you, and learn to let things go. Satan will ALWAYS bring up our past, that doesn’t mean we have failed, it is a sign that we have succeeded. This is true concerning forgiveness also. The enemy wants you to hang on to hurt and offenses you have already forgiven others for, but don’t—just don’t, let them go and grab ahold of Jesus instead!  

     Let’s remember these verses in Ephesians 4:31,32 (NIV) when we are harboring unforgiveness and or trying to hold on to abiding active forgiveness, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

     If we truly adopt a forgiving spirit in our lives we will be able to walk in this freedom Jesus died and rose to give us.

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