Why Me, Lord?

 

    

     How many times have you asked Him that question? Was it a single question or a string of them rolled into one? What I mean is, were you asking Him why you had to suffer the things you have in life or were you asking Him why you didn’t get or don’t have the things you think you want in life? Were you asking Him because you wanted to receive something from Him or because you wanted Him to take something away from you?

     We seem to always be asking for something and sometimes when we get or receive what we think we wanted we realize as soon as we receive it that we didn’t really want it after all. Why is that I wonder? Is it because when we were in the asking mode we were not seeking the will and the plan of God?

     If we knew all that God had planned for us in His great tapestry of things and if we could see just a little bit of what God has in store for us we might not ever ask for anything again unless God was telling us directly to ask Him. He does tell us to ask in His Son’s name and we will receive (John 16:23), but what God means is that we ask according to His will and purpose (1 John 5:14). Knowing His will and purpose requires that we have a close and intimate relationship with Him.

     When we pursue a close and intimate relationship with Jesus we begin to see and realize that the things we used to think we wanted from the Lord aren’t even legitimate requests or wants because we now see that what we should be asking for are the things which will bring what He wants for our lives.

     This new life in Christ is going to bring new desires and wants, but sometimes it takes us a little while to realize that and at first we may still, even if just emotionally, think we want the things of the past. We might think now that we have healed and been set free that we can handle or have certain things in our life that we couldn’t before and that might cause us to ask the whys—why can’t I do it or have it now, Lord? I am stronger and I can handle it now.

      If we’re not careful we can start to lose track of what God has brought us out of and we can even forget (unimaginable, but true), how bad our life was before we surrendered it to Him and let Him deliver us from the bondage of addiction and all the yuck and consequences that come from living that kind of life. How do I know? Sadly I know from personal experience and it is not something I am proud of, but as I always say there is no waste with God so He will use even our backsliding away from Him for His glory and to teach us a lesson. What is the lesson? We cannot do life on our own and we especially cannot do this newly created life on our own, and as soon as we try we will fall!    

     Let’s begin to ask God what should my desires be and how should I pursue them? What are Your wants, goals and desires for me, Lord? These are the questions which God will answer in His great and glorious way and when we get those answers we need to grab onto them, pursue them just as tenaciously as we did our addictions and that lifestyle and watch God change us from the inside out.

    

     We may be going along and doing very well in our walk with God and this new life He has given us, but if we don’t seek Him and what He wants for us we can get tripped up and deceived (yes, deceived) into thinking we don’t need God anymore or at least not as much as we did at first. We might think I don’t use drugs or alcohol anymore; I don’t look at pornography or engage in lewdness or fornication anymore so why do I still need so much of God in my life?  Maybe I only need Him on Sunday mornings when I go to church or maybe I only need Him when I am in a serious crisis—but not all the time. After all I am better now and I don’t do the things I once did. This is a very dangerous mind and heart-set to get into and it is one I guarantee will lead you right back to a life of destruction if you aren’t careful and recognize it when it comes and get your heart and your mind back where they need to be.

     The world has a different answer than God and His kingdom and it is one that says you must be independent and self-reliant and you must learn to handle everything on your own, that way you can escape the pain of others hurting you (or so we think), and you don’t have to answer to anyone except yourself. But there is nothing in God’s word, ways or kingdom that ever tells us we are to do anything on our own, in fact, God doesn’t like it when we ignore Him and try to do things on our own. He considers that seeking something before Him and it is a form of idolatry and or worshiping or relying on someone or something more than we do Him.

     Our whys to God need to be more in the tone of, why did you save a wretch like me? And why do I get to know the healing power of Jesus Christ while others are still bound in their addiction? Or why are You so merciful and good to me God? And why was I chosen to be used by God Almighty in this special way? And then resolve in our hearts and minds that we don’t deserve any of it, but we are grateful to Him that He has done it for us and brought us to where we are in our life.

     I have said this before, but it bears repeating, you cannot maintain your freedom from addiction and your new life in Christ without Him being the center and the Lord of every area of your life! The whys are a manifestation of our heart condition and our closeness to God. If we are asking why we haven’t reached a new level or season in Him and it is His will that we do, He will answer our whys, but if our whys are asking something like—woe is me, why am I always suffering or not getting what I want in life then He might not answer except to show you that those are not the things or whys He is concerned with answering.

     We may be asking why we have to face the trials and struggles we are facing right now in our life, but everything we go through has a godly purpose and reason and we don’t always need to know the why. Sometimes we just need to know that NOTHING we go through is ever in vain—even if it is a mistake or misstep He will use it for His glory so we should keep our hearts and our minds focused on Him and His whys and wants for us.

     God’s whys are so different from ours—they are as such, why don’t you trust Me with every area of your life, and why don’t you seek only Me for your answers? And why do you think I have left you without answers to your questions? Or why do you think your questions are more important than mine?

     Maybe one way we can begin to change the questions we ask God is to understand and remember that we are now living this new life in Him and He wants only the best for us and He never means us harm. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” If we really take hold of that scripture and live everyday like we believe it and it is the key to our future, I believe we can stop asking our whys and start asking what. What is our part in His great plans to prosper and not harm us, His great plans to give us the future we didn’t have before we let Him deliver us and set us free?  

     The answer to our question, “Why me, Lord?” can be answered this way—Jesus says to each of us no matter what the actual or underlying question is, “You ask, ‘why me, Lord?’, and I answer you—because I love you, I gave My life for you, I have great plans for you and I know what is best for you—that’s why.”

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Forgiveness...Finally! Part lll

      God wants you to see that He is, and has always been aware of your pain, your damage and the path it has brought you down so far. It is time to change the path and let God take you to healing waters that run deep.

       “God is the expert at addressing people in pain. Most of the Bible was written to hurting people.” Jim Berg tells us in his book Changed into His Image. We can’t hang onto the pain and be healed from it, and I believe that is the key to forgiveness—letting go of and receiving healing from the pain.

      He wants us free from hidden and stuffed anger, He wants us free from old hurts, and He wants us free to receive and offer forgiveness that lasts and sets us free to love those who have hurt us.

      Let’s look to Jesus our perfect example and the one who really and truly knows what suffering is, and yet the scriptures tell us that He looked beyond the pain, agony, and humiliation to the joy. There is joy to come, I promise you. God’s word tells us more about the suffering of Jesus and how His heart handled it.

      Let’s look at both the NKJV and the NIV translations as they are both important and tell us what this means. Hebrews 12:2,3 NKJV, “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” And also the NIV says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Jesus did not consider the pain He was to endure more important or impactful than what the end result of His suffering would bring. He was persecuted and did die rather than to live without any one of us, because if He didn’t die we would. Jesus looked to the eternal purpose for His suffering and He wants us to do the same.

     When you are tempted to think that all your suffering is for nothing or it has caused you so much damage just look to Jesus who knew the joy of saving you was far more important than what He was about to suffer! The scriptures tell us to consider what Jesus did and let it be the perfect example to us and what we have endured or are now enduring and by His example we can go on and know that there is joy to come. He wants you to consider the joy set before you when you show the world that it is possible to truly change and become a new creation in Him. And He wants you to consider the joy set before you and others when you help someone who needs the specific help God has now equipped you to give. Also, let’s not forget the joy set before all of us—eternity in heaven with the very one who suffered to save us!

      We must release our pain to Him and let Him show us just how beautiful our (once ugly) pain and damage is with His light now shining on it.

      Realize the pain has a purpose, but its purpose is ultimately to bring you to God, to be healed and made whole and then the purpose takes your healing and now travels another path, it is now a journey to show others who are hurting how our Great God healed you and made you a new creation in Him. How healing and purposeful to know that He can and wants to use us and what we have already been through to help someone else. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 (NKJV) tells us this, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Those verses tell us that we are to seek our comfort in and through Him—He is the “God of all comfort”, not just some comfort but all comfort. We are then to extend and give that same comfort to others who are now hurting. The reality that we need to be comforted is evident in the scriptures and it is not a “sore” subject with God as long as we are truly seeking healing and not just catering to and nursing our pain—let God cater to your pain as you let it go to Him. That may sound or seem strange, to let God cater to your pain, but remember it does have a specific, God-given purpose and He knows how to heal it and now turn it into His resplendent glory.

     We have to read and take hold of what the scriptures tell us about God, His plans for us, His purpose for us, His ways to obtaining those plans and purpose—then we can begin to let Him move and work in us, we can let Him have His way with us because He never means us harm. But in fact, He has an absolute perfect plan and we should enjoy letting God do whatever He will with us knowing that He has an eternal and kingdom purpose for all that we have been through.  

     Now that we can let go of the pain of our past and learn how to give and receive forgiveness the way God intended us to we need to consider and keep in mind a few things to help us so we are on the right track with restored, renewed and reconciled relationships.  First, let’s remember that none of this is possible without Jesus helping us. Second, obtaining forgiveness and extending it to others is going to take action on our part—we can’t sit idle and expect it to happen. The attempts done genuinely must also be done in our heart as well as our actions.

     Part of forgiveness and it being very real, active and lasting in us is that we not only learn how to effectively receive it, but also that we learn and understand how to effectively seek and ask for it from others. There is nothing worse than people attempting to make amends with each other and not doing it the way it should be done because what can happen are these sort of half- hearted apologies, “I’m sorry” you might say, “oh that’s alright” the other person says, but it is not alright and that is why there is an issue that needs to be forgiven, or (my least favorite) the no apology at all, let’s just act like nothing happened, and at least we are now speaking to each other again sort of pseudo forgiveness. Later when the first little irritation comes, boom, everything you ever did to each other explodes and now you are back to square one because all of the issues were not considered when they should have been. Get issues out and seek truth and healing for and from all parties involved.

     When we are truly seeking forgiveness and reconciliation we should do it genuinely and sincerely and we should ask for it in a way that seeks to restore a healthy and whole relationship, Jim Berg also reminds us of this, “I’m sorry or I apologize never address the matter fully. One can be sorry that something happened yet not assume any responsibility for it. ‘Will you forgive me?’ By asking forgiveness, a statement like this assumes full responsibility for the wrong and seeks a reconciliation between the estranged parties.” When we take the time to attempt restoration in a way that honors everyone who has been hurt we can be assured there will be true and genuine healing and in turn true abiding forgiveness.

     Genuine not looking back forgiveness is a gift from God. Human effort alone will not completely bring forgiveness.

      Even after forgiveness has been given or received, the devil will still plant thoughts in our mind’s towards those we have forgiven and vice versa. Remember, the mind is the battlefield and thoughts alone are not sin, it is what we choose to do with those thoughts that can birth sin. Don’t let thoughts of the offense or the offender keep haunting you, and learn to let things go. Satan will ALWAYS bring up our past, that doesn’t mean we have failed, it is a sign that we have succeeded. This is true concerning forgiveness also. The enemy wants you to hang on to hurt and offenses you have already forgiven others for, but don’t—just don’t, let them go and grab ahold of Jesus instead!  

     Let’s remember these verses in Ephesians 4:31,32 (NIV) when we are harboring unforgiveness and or trying to hold on to abiding active forgiveness, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

     If we truly adopt a forgiving spirit in our lives we will be able to walk in this freedom Jesus died and rose to give us.

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FORGIVENESS: The Reason For Your Pain...part ll

           

     I felt led to continue with what we were talking about on pain and forgiveness and how intricately they are woven together, as just this past week, I have had to experience and put into practice some of my own thoughts and advice on forgiveness, and I can tell you that forgiveness in its practiced and active state is powerful!  Being on the receiving end of it is powerful as well!

     When you know that you have deeply hurt or harmed someone close or important to you and they have chosen to forgive you (when you ask), and not hold it against you, it really allows for healing before things fester and get worse.  We all know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the hurt, but when we can imagine how deep or scarring our actions might be to another we are better able to see and realize we don’t want to cause pain, we want to be a part of the healing process, not the hurting process.

     In the last article I talked about forgiving people in our past who have really caused us some deep rooted pain and what we tend to view as damage—as in forever damaged, but the damage can be healed and made whole and that is exactly what God wants to do, and if we let Him do it, it will bring glory and honor to Him and His kingdom.

     Some of the problem in forgiving people who have hurt you in the past could be that the damage or abuse is still happening and or the only way it ended or will end is to distance yourself from that person or people.  This truly is a difficult situation as I have this issue in my own life and consequently don’t have certain people in my life who should be and who I ultimately want in my life.  I cannot at this time attempt to have them in my life as the relationship would not be healthy and or Christ centered. But, I do want to operate in active forgiveness toward them so that someday maybe there can be a healthy and Christ centered relationship between us.

     I am going to say something at this point and I want everyone to know that I am speaking to myself as much as anyone else—we all have pain, but we have a tendency to think or feel our pain hurts worse than someone else’s. The degree or depth of our own pain and suffering causes us to think sometimes that we have been hurt deeply enough that it somehow relinquishes us from forgiveness, both receiving it and giving it.

 

     There is nothing you have endured at the hands of any other person that could measure up to the suffering our Savior went through for us.  Nothing! This helped me when I started to really think about it—not only did Jesus endure the physical pain of being nailed to the cross, the brutal beating on His back (for our physical healing), not to mention, the emotional and psychological pain he went through, but He went through all of this KNOWING beforehand, the pain and agony to come!  If any of us knew the pain we were going to go through and we had a choice to not go through any of it, even if our pain could help or save another, we would say no thank you. He did not! Jesus is our example and He endured pain and suffering and He did it for us. Our pain is meant to help and heal another, if we let it!

Once again, this puts a different light on how we see our pain and I really believe that is the key to this active forgiveness taking up residency in our hearts.

  

     What can be a real beginning in this process of forgiveness is to remember that we are now new creations in Him, before we were born again and before we knew our Savior we were dysfunctional and unhealthy in our emotions and (probably) our bodies as well. That made functioning like productive and healthy people impossible, but now we are functioning and we are productive and we are whole by the power and the blood of Jesus.

     No more harboring bad or negative feelings or unforgiveness in our hearts. In the past, before I let Jesus show me that He would use my pain to help set others free, I couldn’t let things go because I hadn’t changed and every time my dysfunction (the scars of my past) caused me problems (almost always) I would revert to my past and blame those who have scarred me, but now I can say look at me, now that Jesus has changed the very core of who I am. I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore, I want to show the world that Jesus can do some serious changing us, if we will let Him. 

     I believe people think forgiveness just comes, you say it, and maybe you even mean it, but if you don’t become active it cannot become real and present in you and the life you now live as a new creation in Him. Now viewing or seeing our pain as damage is not the way to look at it—you are now equipped with the tools necessary to help someone else who is going through what you already have or may even still be going through. God wants you to understand that your pain has brought you to the point where you are now, and that God chose you to endure what you did so that you could be used by Him to bring someone else to that same point and place where you are now—forgiven, healed, whole and complete.

     What a different and glorious way to look at our past and the people who helped shape who we are today. And remember, the main person in your life now is Jesus and He says your past is important and not just because of the damage it has caused you, but also because it was meant to bring you to Him, and others to Him once you let Him heal you and forgiveness becomes active and real.  We can’t change if we don’t forgive or receive forgiveness.  I have to say, not thinking about someone or just not thinking hateful thoughts about someone (yourself included) is not forgiving, it is harboring and there is a big difference between the two. 

     Once we understand our pain and now how it directly relates to forgiveness for the people who inflicted or caused it, I think the next step is to ask God what role the person or people will take in your life now that real, true, deep and abiding forgiveness has begun. Maybe it won’t be any more than you really not harboring bad feelings and unforgiveness toward them, especially if they are not born again and not living their life for the Lord. But, it could be that you are the one who is going to help bring them to the Lord so you want to be in tune with what God wants for you and the other person.  Maybe for now it is active forgiveness in your heart and the relationship is going to come later, but you want active, living and abiding forgiveness in your heart and on ready. You will want a place available in your heart when that time comes. Remember, we control what goes in and out of our heart.

     Another thing that is helpful when dealing with the pain of your past and the people responsible is to think about a relationship with this person or people, think about what that would be like in its healthiest state, entertain thoughts of what it would be like to have a Christian, Christ centered relationship with them. If you find this almost impossible to do, try to remember that God wants them to make heaven their home just as much as He wants you there!  2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise…, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (NKJV)

      If forgiveness were an easy thing to do would Jesus have told us so many times that we must forgive or we will not be forgiven? I don’t think so. Again I will say, He is our perfect example, no one could go through what He endured for us and not only forgive us, but want a relationship with us afterwards and He wants us to do the same thing with those who have hurt us. We can only do that by abiding in His forgiveness, in and of ourselves we cannot.

     Sometimes when it is hard to get along with someone I remind myself that they are going to be in heaven with me so I better learn to not only get along with them, but I better learn to love them as well! Do we think heaven is full of people who just go around ignoring or tolerating each other? I don’t think so.

     Whatever we do is supposed to bring glory and honor to God and believe me when you extend forgiveness to someone the secular world would say doesn’t deserve it you bring Him glory and people want to know this God who could heal those kind of deep wounds. Let’s try to remember that the next time we are licking our wounds and wallowing in the pain of our past. 

     Jesus wants us living and abiding in the same kind of forgiveness He died to give us.

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