"Share With Me Your Sadness and I Will Restore Your Joy"

       I have had to really seek God during this past week. Some of you may know about the recent wildfire in Arizona that took the lives of 19 HotShot firefighters and I not only live in Arizona but I live about 22 miles from where the fire burned out of control for days. I have family and friends who were affected by this fire and I was so sad and devastated by the loss of life and homes that I started to be overcome with sadness until I sought God and shared my sadness with Him. 

     We can give everything to God. What a blessing, what a privilege and what a joy to experience a God who not only wants us to give our heartache and all of our sadness to Him but He wants us to know He cares about all of it. He doesn’t just tell us to give it to Him so He can throw it away like it doesn’t matter. But He is a God who wants to know who, what, why and how does something cause us to take our hearts and our minds off of who He is and what He’s done to the point our joy has been overcome by sadness and sorrow?! He is there calling to us and saying “I love you with a love that has power over all your hurt!” He wants us to examine our hearts and hurts and learn why we lost our hope that is in Him.

     

     That doesn’t mean we are never to feel sadness or other emotions; after all, it is God our Creator who created us with our emotions, but He does want us to share with Him our emotions, our feelings, our hurts and our sorrows, and yes, our good and joyous times too—our “everything”. God wants to and should be part of everything we do and all that we are. So, not if, but, when you are experiencing sadness or sorrow in your life you can learn to share it with Him and let His light shine through the darkness of your sorrow.

     We can learn to share our sadness and sorrow with God by learning and living in His word and such scriptures as these beautiful verses in psalms (prayers and songs) which David wrote when he was seeking God during troublesome times. Psalm 34:17-19 (NKJV), “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.” If we understand that God wants to be a part of everything we do and all that we go through we can learn, grow, and even experience our sadness through Jesus and let Him get us through it His way so that we don’t start to succumb to it. Also, we will somehow grow from it because nothing we experience or go through is ever in vain.

     We can feed, grow and live on His word and see that there is help for us when we are hurting and we can let Him get us back to a place of joy and we can grow even in and through our sorrows. One way we can do this is to seek Him (once again) in the form of worship. Honestly, there are so many ways to worship God and there are so many benefits to doing it that you cannot go wrong if you do nothing in a crisis but worship and or praise Him—and if more needs to be done He will show you.  

     Another way we can experience our God is to taste of the Lord’s goodness and remember that we serve a God who can be tasted if we will do it with our spirit and everything that is in us. Psalm 34:8 (NKJV), “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” When I read this scripture it speaks to me that we have to taste Him with our spirit. Let’s look at another scripture and we will look at two versions because they are both important and profound, 1 Peter 2:2-3 (NKJV) “As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.”  This scripture tells us that not only will we grow if we “feed” on “the pure milk of the word”, but that we will “desire the...Word” if we have tasted the graciousness of the Lord. In the amplified version that scripture is stated like this (and I just love it), “Like newborn babies you should crave (thirst for, earnestly desire) the pure (unadulterated) spiritual milk, that by it you may be nurtured and grow unto [completed] salvation, since you have [already] tasted the goodness and kindness of the Lord.”

     Wow, our Lord can be tasted! That might seem strange to some of you who might be new to the family of God, but the thing is, it is possible to taste our Lord with our spirit if we understand that God is a living God and everything about Him is living and full of life! All living things grow and we should too, we are supposed to grow in Him and how we do that is by doing just what the scripture tells us—by desiring and feeding on “the pure ‘(unadulterated) spiritual’ milk of the word.”

     We can grow and be healed from our pain and sorrow by turning it over and, I like to say, sharing it with Him because I didn’t experience my feelings as a child so I need to learn how to experience my emotions without letting them rule and reign me. I don’t say I just give my “stuff” over to God but that I share my feelings and emotions with my Savior and Creator who knows all about them and wants me to experience and use them for good (His good).

     God and His word are the best, top of the line, never generic, always “name brand”, medicine, therapy and food for whatever sickness, sorrow and famine our life is taking us through and He so wants to be what and who we reach for when we are hurting the most!  

    

     

     The Psalms are songs and prayers which (most of them) were written by King David and although it was during troubled times for David which is evident when he writes “Many are the afflictions of the righteous…” but then he goes on to write “…But the Lord delivers him out of them all.” David also writes as a prayer in Psalm 86:7 (NKJV), “In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, For You will answer me”, David doesn’t deny that affliction and trouble are present but he constantly seeks the help of God as he says in Psalm 54:4 (NKJV), “Behold, God is my helper…”, and also in Psalm 54:6-7 (NKJV),  “…I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is good. For He has delivered me out of all trouble.” We can follow King David’s example and seek and sing out to God during our sad and hurtful times because He is the one who will help us and He will restore our joy back to us as only He can. Psalm 51:12 (NKJV), “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous spirit.”

     He will restore our joy back to us after we have shared what, why and the things, feelings or emotions that caused us to give up our joy in the first place. He knows about your pain let Him show you how to grow through it and discover just how much He really cares about what troubles you as we can read in Psalm 55:22 (NKJV), “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Also, in Psalm 46:1 (NKJV) it tells us that “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” These scriptures are where to turn when we need comfort and help during sad and sorrowful times and He is our PRESENT help in times of trouble!

     When I was becoming so sad that I had lost my joy in Jesus, I had to get ahold of these scriptures and share my sorrow with Him and let Him show me through His word that not only does He want to know what troubles sadden me, but He wants me to know that He is there going through all of it with me, I am never alone!  And of course, He is there for you in your sad and hurtful times as well, all you have to do is seek Him, taste Him and desire to be fed on His word which will bring peace and healing to your sadness and sorrow.  We don’t have to deny that pain and sorrow exist we just need to share and experience it with Jesus our precious Lord and Savior who is the expert at getting through painful and sorrowful times to stand victorious in everlasting joy!

      Hallelujah, I love Him so much and I am so thankful to Him that I can go to Him with literally everything I am facing in life and He shows me that His joy is my strength as it says in Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV), “…Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

    

     When you are sad and you spend time talking to Jesus about it, but don’t try to hide how you really feel because God knows your heart and what is going on deep inside of you anyway, then you will begin to experience a peace and a comfort that only He can give to you. And don’t forget to feed on and taste the goodness of the Lord through the pure milk of His word and worship to Him. By doing this you will be sharing your sadness with Him and I promise you He will restore your joy.

~

  

    

      

His Ways Are Not Our Ways...Hallelujah!

     God’s ways are not our ways, but now that we are new creations in Him we are learning His ways and we are learning to follow His ways because we now know they are best for us and we now trust our life, our sobriety and our freedom from addiction to Him. 

     We cannot maintain our freedom from addictions without Jesus as the center of our new life. We need all the help we can get from Him and there is unlimited help, we just need to tap into it every day all day long.

     I read or heard once from Joyce Meyer Ministries that even a godly thought directed toward God is considered prayer in the heart of God—I just love that and I firmly believe it. God already knows our hearts inside and out, and He even knows our heart better than we do, so if we are directing our thoughts and desires toward Him and His kingdom we will be in constant communication or communion with Him. If we are in communion with Him we can have the constant help we need to stay free from the things that will harm us and keep us from our Savior. 

     Remember, you are not just working on sobriety; you are building your testimony. I consider it your story of how you and God came to be and the path you are now taking once He turned you to the “light” direction.  God is an amazing God who uses us in ways that we may never even know or understand.  You are now a child of God and He has plans for you and it is to use what you have gone through so don’t lose hope when you are feeling like your life has no purpose. Your life now has God Almighty’s Purpose, and He is just preparing you for what is to come and you want to be ready as He brings this new purpose into your life.  

     When He says His ways are not our ways He means it (Isaiah 55: 8-9), but He isn’t some sort of unapproachable God who tells us His ways are different and higher and His thoughts are different and higher. He tells us this so that we don’t try to trust our own ways as they are futile when it comes to His ways. Besides, haven’t we proven that, by trusting our own ways to the point of our own demise?

      He does tell us that we can reason or talk with Him and Him with us, “Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow…” Isaiah1:18 (NKJV). God wants us to know that we can go to Him about anything and everything in our life, and He wants us to know we can trust Him with everything.

     Let’s talk about trust as it relates to the past and now your new life in Christ. 

      When you lived in the mire of addiction you kept trusting in and counting on your so called “friends”, but addicts don’t have friends they have addiction companions—because misery loves company—and that’s it! There is no such thing as trust in that world and anyone who has lived in it knows that I’m speaking truth.

      BUT GOD, came into your life and now you can really know what it is to embrace trust for once in your life. You can trust the one who is a friend like you’ve never had before. He tells us in Proverbs 18:24 both the NKJV and the NIV version are impactful and relevant to what we’re talking about: NKJV, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” And in the NIV, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  His word even says in Micah 7:5 (NIV), “Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.”  He is not the kind of friend who says “I will be there, I promise”, but then they are nowhere to be found when you really need them! No, He never leaves or forsakes us and He doesn’t just say it, He means it!

     God is not “out to get us” as some would think and He deals with us in kindness and compassion—even if we don’t think He is being kind and loving, He knows what is coming in our life, so we need to trust Him. 

     I used to think that God was not very patient and of course not very compassionate either, but His word tells us otherwise and now that I am pursuing an intimate relationship with Him I know His word and His ways enough to know that God is kind and very compassionate and loves to deal with us in that way.

     “…Because His compassions fail not…they are new every morning...” and, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.”  And there are more supporting scriptures—some of them can be found in: Lamentations 3: 22, 23, 25, 32, and 33 (NKJV).

      We can trust Jesus as our true friend and God the Father as our loving Father, not like some father’s in the world who might have been absent, abusive and or neglectful.

     God the Father wants us to know that He loves us and because of that love He will correct and chasten us, just as any loving father would. He is The- Father- of- all- father’s and He never means us harm, and He can only correct us toward what is good and right for us. Our Father in heaven can never lead us wrong or astray and He will never inflict undue or unnecessary pain or harm on us, He just won’t, it is NOT His nature.

     Remember we talked before about not licking our wounds and not catering to our pain, but instead let God cater to it. Let’s look at some of the ways He does this—first of all we have the privilege of casting all our care upon Him, His word tells us this in 1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22, God wants us to cast our cares upon Him and let Him bring about the answers to the situations we face each day. This includes giving us strength when we need it to overcome temptation and stand strong in this new freedom from addiction.

      He cares for us in our hurting and pain, it matters so much to Him that His word tells us that He not only hears and answers our prayers, but our prayers are saved up in heaven, “…the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders…each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people”, Revelation 5:8 (NIV). God also saves the tears we cry, “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8 (NKJV).  In Psalm 4:8, He keeps us safe when we sleep at night and He gives us His peace.

      When we speak of His peace there is nothing to compare it to—by that I mean it isn’t earthly so nothing on earth can compare to it.  But He does tell us this about His peace, John 14:27 New Life Version says this, (“Jesus Gives His Followers Peace”) “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give peace to you as the world gives...”  He even suffered physical pain for our peace as it tells us in Isaiah 53:5. Also, in Philippians 4:7 Paul tells us that God’s peace surpasses all understanding, and all through His word He is referred to as the God of Peace!

      This is not the kind of peace that we have ever experienced before and we should cherish it as such. Hold on to His peace and never let it go. Let His peace keep you and strengthen you during tempting times, during trying times, during those times when you know you will make it, but those around you aren’t quite convinced yet and because of that you are feeling discouraged.

     With the peace of God our Father and His own peace Jesus gave us, we are completely equipped and prepared to journey with Jesus down this path of no more addictions. We are now in pursuit of His plan for our life and that is a completely new path, it has twists and turns that we are not used to. But we can get used to it and that’s what this new journey is all about—learning His ways. Don’t give up, soon enough those who weren’t quite convinced that you are a new creation will be completely and thoroughly in awe of what our Great God has done in you and they are going to want it too!  So keep going because there is joy to come and a harvest to reap and a brand new life to live—and Jesus is the closest, stick it out when things get tough friend, you have ever had or ever will have.

     Trust and follow His ways and they will take you down the path that leads to Him and His eternal purpose and the place that is being prepared for you in heaven.

~

   

Forgiveness...Finally! Part lll

      God wants you to see that He is, and has always been aware of your pain, your damage and the path it has brought you down so far. It is time to change the path and let God take you to healing waters that run deep.

       “God is the expert at addressing people in pain. Most of the Bible was written to hurting people.” Jim Berg tells us in his book Changed into His Image. We can’t hang onto the pain and be healed from it, and I believe that is the key to forgiveness—letting go of and receiving healing from the pain.

      He wants us free from hidden and stuffed anger, He wants us free from old hurts, and He wants us free to receive and offer forgiveness that lasts and sets us free to love those who have hurt us.

      Let’s look to Jesus our perfect example and the one who really and truly knows what suffering is, and yet the scriptures tell us that He looked beyond the pain, agony, and humiliation to the joy. There is joy to come, I promise you. God’s word tells us more about the suffering of Jesus and how His heart handled it.

      Let’s look at both the NKJV and the NIV translations as they are both important and tell us what this means. Hebrews 12:2,3 NKJV, “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” And also the NIV says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Jesus did not consider the pain He was to endure more important or impactful than what the end result of His suffering would bring. He was persecuted and did die rather than to live without any one of us, because if He didn’t die we would. Jesus looked to the eternal purpose for His suffering and He wants us to do the same.

     When you are tempted to think that all your suffering is for nothing or it has caused you so much damage just look to Jesus who knew the joy of saving you was far more important than what He was about to suffer! The scriptures tell us to consider what Jesus did and let it be the perfect example to us and what we have endured or are now enduring and by His example we can go on and know that there is joy to come. He wants you to consider the joy set before you when you show the world that it is possible to truly change and become a new creation in Him. And He wants you to consider the joy set before you and others when you help someone who needs the specific help God has now equipped you to give. Also, let’s not forget the joy set before all of us—eternity in heaven with the very one who suffered to save us!

      We must release our pain to Him and let Him show us just how beautiful our (once ugly) pain and damage is with His light now shining on it.

      Realize the pain has a purpose, but its purpose is ultimately to bring you to God, to be healed and made whole and then the purpose takes your healing and now travels another path, it is now a journey to show others who are hurting how our Great God healed you and made you a new creation in Him. How healing and purposeful to know that He can and wants to use us and what we have already been through to help someone else. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 (NKJV) tells us this, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Those verses tell us that we are to seek our comfort in and through Him—He is the “God of all comfort”, not just some comfort but all comfort. We are then to extend and give that same comfort to others who are now hurting. The reality that we need to be comforted is evident in the scriptures and it is not a “sore” subject with God as long as we are truly seeking healing and not just catering to and nursing our pain—let God cater to your pain as you let it go to Him. That may sound or seem strange, to let God cater to your pain, but remember it does have a specific, God-given purpose and He knows how to heal it and now turn it into His resplendent glory.

     We have to read and take hold of what the scriptures tell us about God, His plans for us, His purpose for us, His ways to obtaining those plans and purpose—then we can begin to let Him move and work in us, we can let Him have His way with us because He never means us harm. But in fact, He has an absolute perfect plan and we should enjoy letting God do whatever He will with us knowing that He has an eternal and kingdom purpose for all that we have been through.  

     Now that we can let go of the pain of our past and learn how to give and receive forgiveness the way God intended us to we need to consider and keep in mind a few things to help us so we are on the right track with restored, renewed and reconciled relationships.  First, let’s remember that none of this is possible without Jesus helping us. Second, obtaining forgiveness and extending it to others is going to take action on our part—we can’t sit idle and expect it to happen. The attempts done genuinely must also be done in our heart as well as our actions.

     Part of forgiveness and it being very real, active and lasting in us is that we not only learn how to effectively receive it, but also that we learn and understand how to effectively seek and ask for it from others. There is nothing worse than people attempting to make amends with each other and not doing it the way it should be done because what can happen are these sort of half- hearted apologies, “I’m sorry” you might say, “oh that’s alright” the other person says, but it is not alright and that is why there is an issue that needs to be forgiven, or (my least favorite) the no apology at all, let’s just act like nothing happened, and at least we are now speaking to each other again sort of pseudo forgiveness. Later when the first little irritation comes, boom, everything you ever did to each other explodes and now you are back to square one because all of the issues were not considered when they should have been. Get issues out and seek truth and healing for and from all parties involved.

     When we are truly seeking forgiveness and reconciliation we should do it genuinely and sincerely and we should ask for it in a way that seeks to restore a healthy and whole relationship, Jim Berg also reminds us of this, “I’m sorry or I apologize never address the matter fully. One can be sorry that something happened yet not assume any responsibility for it. ‘Will you forgive me?’ By asking forgiveness, a statement like this assumes full responsibility for the wrong and seeks a reconciliation between the estranged parties.” When we take the time to attempt restoration in a way that honors everyone who has been hurt we can be assured there will be true and genuine healing and in turn true abiding forgiveness.

     Genuine not looking back forgiveness is a gift from God. Human effort alone will not completely bring forgiveness.

      Even after forgiveness has been given or received, the devil will still plant thoughts in our mind’s towards those we have forgiven and vice versa. Remember, the mind is the battlefield and thoughts alone are not sin, it is what we choose to do with those thoughts that can birth sin. Don’t let thoughts of the offense or the offender keep haunting you, and learn to let things go. Satan will ALWAYS bring up our past, that doesn’t mean we have failed, it is a sign that we have succeeded. This is true concerning forgiveness also. The enemy wants you to hang on to hurt and offenses you have already forgiven others for, but don’t—just don’t, let them go and grab ahold of Jesus instead!  

     Let’s remember these verses in Ephesians 4:31,32 (NIV) when we are harboring unforgiveness and or trying to hold on to abiding active forgiveness, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

     If we truly adopt a forgiving spirit in our lives we will be able to walk in this freedom Jesus died and rose to give us.

~

                                     

FORGIVENESS: Understanding The Reason For Your Pain

There are issues of forgiveness in my life--both receiving and reciprocating it. There, I said it, now let me explain…

      I know that forgiveness is a choice, but I believe that is the first step in a “process” of forgiveness. I don’t think you can just suddenly find a place in your heart for forgiveness that wasn’t already there. You have to clean your heart out and make room for this new thing of forgiveness, think about that for a minute, because you had something in your heart for whoever you need to forgive and if it wasn’t forgiveness and love then you need to get rid of whatever it was and make room for the “new” thing you are going to let fill your heart about that person. You also have to clear out a place of love for the person you have forgiven, and that is going to be a process, and you are going to need the help of Jesus. This is where that old cliché rings true, it is easier said than done. It is possible though, and we must forgive others as God has forgiven us.

     In Matthew 6:9 Jesus begins teaching how we should pray and in The Lord’s Prayer verse 12 He says, ”And forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Down in verses 14 and 15 Jesus tells us that if we forgive we will be forgiven; if we don’t forgive we will not be forgiven. I think forgiveness is a serious enough issue that it needs to be lasting and active in our hearts.

      I think people believe they have forgiven when, in fact, they have not.  Forgiveness is an issue with more people than would probably be willing to admit, but for those of us with addiction in our past we have a hard time because the hurt others inflicted on us is the very root of our being drawn to an addiction in the first place. We were seeking something we didn’t get from important, impactful people in our lives and the hurt made us look for it in an external way even though the hurt was not external, it was and is internal. This is why The Answer is Jesus inside of us!

       It can also be the reason we seem to forgive and to take it back.

     I have what I consider relapses in forgiveness. Walking in forgiveness and all its wonderful glory one month (week or day) and wallowing in the shame and guilt of my past, and the anger of those who have hurt me the next. In other words, giving up my own already paid for forgiveness and rescinding any forgiveness I have already given to those who have hurt me. Now, this is not physically happening (I’m not telling anyone I no longer forgive them), but it is something that is taking place spiritually in my heart. This is why I think that the process of forgiving works better than just choosing to forgive.

      It took time and a process to hurt you, and it took time and a process for you to become damaged and broken from that hurt so it makes sense that giving this over to God is a process. He can do whatever needs to be done in a split second, but He knows that we need a process in order for it to become effective, active and lasting.

     Even our salvation is a process. Philippians 2:12 (NKJV) says, “...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” That part of the verse suggests to me that there is a process we will go through to “work out our salvation”. Our salvation is not a onetime thing it is a journey that we now travel with Jesus and the Holy Spirit inside of us and the destination is heaven where God the Father waits and longs for us. I do not mean that we can obtain our salvation through works, we cannot. I am saying that once we are saved it doesn't stop there, the journey goes on and there is a final destination.

     Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we treat forgiveness as something we can give and take back and we are told that we must forgive even as our Father has forgiven us, but if we really do it in our hearts and not just with our mouths then it has to be done by understanding what the hurt has done and that it has caused the pain in our lives ultimately to bring us and glory to God!

      When we see that our pain even though caused and inflicted by someone else is the reason we came to God, we can, instead of holding anger and hate for them, actually begin to even be thankful to them, for without our testimony of what God saved us out of (the pain they inflicted) we would not know our Savior and we would not know the power of being set free and now the purpose of being used for His kingdom! 

     Everything with God and the “new” He does in us is supposed to change us from deep within so that we are indeed becoming “new creations in Him” and that what is happening in us is not only active and lasting so that we have an abundantly blessed life in Him, but that others see what He is doing in us and they can’t deny His power—at least in our life, even if they don’t want it for themselves. Someday they will.

                                                                                                           

      When Jesus went to the cross so that we could be forgiven it was not some light thing He just made a choice to do. First of all, that was the very reason He was born, to die for us, but as the time to actually give His life up for us was drawing nearer He asked God the Father if there was any way at all that He might not have to actually go through with it, Matthew 26:39 (NKJV), “He went a little farther and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.’” Our Savior, “fell on His face” in distress and sorrow over what was about to happen to Him so that we could receive AND give forgiveness. It is serious!

     So how do we obtain and maintain forgiveness in our hearts and lives? Well, here’s what God has been showing me in my heart.

      I am referring to forgiveness from and for serious life issues, I am not referring to, for instance, someone took your usual seat at church and you got irritated with them and since last Sunday you have been snubbing them, they probably aren’t even aware of it and you bringing it up now will likely, only cause serious issues between you both— besides, those are the kind of issues that should be a quick and simple choice to forgive, they don’t need a process, they have not caused long term damage, and forgive these right away so that they don’t become bigger issues. I am talking about forgiveness for someone in your life who caused you some serious and deep pain and what you think is long term damage. God will show you it is not long term damage anymore! He is about to set you free!  

     Let’s say you have now made a choice to begin the process of forgiveness—will the decision be to now love them or just not think terrible, yes even hateful thoughts about them anymore or will it be to not think about them at all?  I asked God, what is the answer here? My heart got this—of course you ultimately want love to reign in your heart and God will honor that you have begun the “process” of forgiveness, because your heart is now in the state of readiness to forgive.  

     Ask Him to begin to really give you a love for that person and an understanding of their damage and pain. Hurt people, hurt people.   Even if you are aware of someone’s issues in life and what kind of damage and pain they have endured you do not know the extent of how deeply someone might be or has been hurt. Only God Himself knows just how deeply we have been wounded because He is the one who is going to heal our brokenness. A good start is to ask Him to give you an understanding that those who have hurt and harmed you have also suffered at the hands of another.

     There is purpose in pain. Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book, The Prophet, “…And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’ But I say unto you, they are inseparable.” This is so true; we can’t enjoy the one without having experienced the other. We would not even know how to embrace joy if we had not endured sorrow.

     So if we can now look at our pain differently we can begin to look differently at those who were or are involved in causing or inflicting it.

     How boring and dull would this world be if there were no wounded people? Think about that, we all have pain and some degree of dysfunction in us and each one of us have a story to tell of how God is changing the pain of our past and making it into His beautiful story of redemption and creating in us the creations He always intended us to be. That my friend is exciting news—because we are part of God Almighty’s Destiny and there is nothing boring or dull about God and His plans! 

     Once we realize this we can begin to ask God the true purpose for the pain in our past because there is a purpose for it, I assure you that you did not suffer in vain. It is part of this wonderful plan that He has for your life and He will use your pain to heal someone else’s—that is just how God works. I don’t know about you, but that makes me (and the pain of my past) seem very special to God and His overall plan!

      I wanted to make sure that we all understand that forgiving as our Father forgave is the kind of forgiveness that will need His power active and lasting in us. He forgave us and offered up His Son for our forgiveness—not one of us could or would give up a child for anyone or anything!   

                                                                             

     I think we should talk more about pain and forgiveness, but I don’t want to overwhelm anyone—myself included. Remember I said in the beginning that I have my own issues with forgiveness so these are steps I’m taking and a process I am going through with some people in my own life. But, the good news is the Good News and Jesus is with me (and you) every step of the way.

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