Turn Worry into Worship

     

Our wonderful Savior did not set us free to have us be consumed with worry especially because worry leads to stress. Stress can make us sick both in our soul and physically. I’m not going to dwell on how sick it can make us because we just need to learn not to worry before it turns into such stress that it makes us sick. I want to look at what Jesus said to us about worrying.

      Jesus told us not to worry, He knew we would be tempted to worry but He doesn’t want us to give into it. “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life…” Matthew 6:25 (NKJV), and “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27 (NLT), this is the teaching Jesus gives us about worrying, He is telling us not to worry from verses 25-34 in chapter 6 of Matthew. This is not a quick little reminder and He isn’t saying to us “Hey if you’re having an exceptionally good day and things are going your way try not to worry”, no Jesus is commanding us not to worry and if we realize that to worry is actually considered sin we would really learn how to stop doing it.

   

      If you are addicted to worrying like I was then you will want to learn how to stop worrying and start worshiping instead because in the eyes of God worrying is sin and not faith and in His word it tells us in Romans 14:23 (AMP), “…For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin….” 

     Worrying is not a form of worship, but you can and should turn worry into worship.

     Worry, it is the sin of unfaithfulness which really does not believe in His faithfulness. God’s faithfulness never fails! The reason Jesus tells us not to worry is because if we are busy worrying then we cannot be busy praising, worshiping and trusting in the faithfulness of our God. He is so faithful that it tells us in Lamentations 3:22-23 (NKJV) “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Also, the following verses are a perfect reference for what we are about to discover and they are found in Psalm 71:22-23 (NLT), “Then I will praise You with music on the harp, because You are faithful to Your promises, O my God. I will sing praises to You with a lyre, O Holy One of Israel. I will shout for joy and sing Your praises, for You have ransomed me.” These are just a couple of verses but God’s word is full of references to praise and worship. It is how we obtain and sustain a life in Him. It is a very vital part of our walk and relationship with Him and He wants us to do it sincerely and regularly. And God certainly wants us to worship instead of worry, to trust in Him and His answers instead of trust in the world and or live in torment by the enemy which is what can happen if we don’t learn to give our worry up for worship to God.

      Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV), “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” So you see we cannot please God without faith and He wants us to diligently seek Him and some of the ways we do that are to praise and worship Him. Our everyday walk with God is to be a constant giving up of our heart to Him in the form of worship and that can and should include prayer—if the Lord is new to you, praying means talking from your heart through your spirit to God, or talking to God with your heart. We should also include singing unto the Lord a new song, playing music to the Lord, dancing with joy before Him and many other things—even our obedience is a form of worship if what we are being obedient to is done with a loving heart and willing attitude, also our tithe and other offerings are supposed to be given as worship to Him. If we truly love Him and understand just how lost we were without Him then we want our life to reflect that. God’s word says in 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NLT), “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Everything we do should be a form of some kind of worship to Him who deserves all our praise, prayer, worship, honor and complete surrender.

    

      The sad thing is that most people (Christians) are more comfortable with such forms of worship as giving of their material and temporal possessions and although sometimes God will require us to give up something tangible to or for His sake, most of the time what He really wants is us. He wants you in complete abandon to Him and you can only do that by giving yourself completely to Him, that means no holding back when you are worshiping Him, no wondering or even “worrying” what others will think because you need only care what God Almighty thinks and if you are in complete surrender to Him in worship I guarantee He thinks it is great and He wants you to keep doing it, every day and all the time.

      Make worship and praise something you do every day and do it with all of your heart and your walk with God will change for the better. You and Jesus will get to know each other in a very intimate and close way and you will learn that He is the one to trust in troubles and worrisome times. 

     

 Praise and worship is an absolute perfect way to stop worrying, and if you learn how to have regular praise and worship with and to our Lord Jesus you can virtually eliminate worry not only from your vocabulary but your life as well. Seriously, because after all, He is worthy of our praise and worship and it is what He wants from us. Exchange your worry for worship and discover a new freedom, one without worry and stress. And here is another wonderful thing about God, serving Him and worshiping Him are one in the same—when you serve you do it unto Him and when you worship Him, He knows you have a heart to serve.

      I find it easier to just let loose and worship God when I remember, it is what we will be doing in heaven for all of eternity so I want to not only get comfortable worshiping and honoring Jesus from earth but I want to do it with everything that’s in me. Yes, think about that, in heaven we will be praising and worshiping Jesus our Lord and Savior forever and always!

      Until we get there we must learn from this side of heaven and we can always learn from our perfect example, Jesus. I think if anyone would have had the right to worry it would have been Jesus as He knew in advance the kind of burden He would have to carry for us and yet He did not worry and He instructed us not to worry either.

     Let’s take a look at a couple of verses which tell us that during what would have been a time in Jesus’ life He would have wanted to give into worry He did not, but instead He sought the Father and His kingdom. I’m sure when Jesus was in the garden asking (praying) if there was any way that He might not have to be crucified He was probably tempted to give into worry but He didn’t. I believe He was praying instead (in-place) of worrying and even though He was so distressed that He began to sweat drops of blood yet He still did not give into that distress, He looked to the Father for His strength, His help, His hope and we see that the Father sent help for Him, it tells us in  Luke 22:41-44 (NLT), “And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will but Your’s be done.’ Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” No matter how much agony we might be in during a trial or troubles the previous verses tell us we can turn to the Father for help and He will give us what we need.

      When I stated that I used to be addicted to worrying maybe you were thinking that seems a little “out there” but, remember, we can literally become addicted to anything. Worrying was just part of the ritual of compulsive behavior I would engage in when the stress of life hit me even though I had Jesus, for a long time I still thought that, yes you pray and give it to God, but I also believed that if I didn’t spend a certain amount of time worrying then I wasn’t doing what was my part to do. I was wrong and I finally started to understand that Jesus doesn’t want us to worry and He also tells us what we can do instead of worrying. We can learn how to seek Him instead of worrying because if what we are doing about issues or needs in our life are anything but going to God with it, casting it upon Him, and then seeking His kingdom it is not what God wants us to do.

       Be set free from the bondage of worry and put on a “new thing” of praise and worship and when you do God will show Himself to you as He never has before.

      You can’t be in the middle of full surrender worship to God and be in a state of worry at the same time, it just isn’t possible! You must be doing one of those things or the other but you CAN’T do both. Choose worship to your Savior instead of worry and you will not regret it. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 (NLT) to “Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.”

     Jesus wants us to seek Him in prayer and worship and especially instead of worrying. When we worry the devil knows that what we are worrying about is a weak area for us but so does our Lord and Wonderful Helper, our Prince of Peace and Jesus wants us to trust in Him and look up to Him and heaven and not trust in the things of this world.

      Jesus wants you to use the energy and effort that you would spend worrying to praise Him, seek Him, and trust in Him—and if you truly release your spirit up to Him and give into worship I promise you there is NOTHING on this planet that could ever cause you to worry. You do have to completely surrender to Jesus your Savior, the One who gave His life for you but what would you rather surrender to—the worries of this world or worship and heaven?

     The way to have real intimacy with our God is to give yourself up to worship and fellowship and let the Holy Spirit lead you into a new dimension with Jesus and you will never be the same, and the best part, the more you do it the better it gets and the more effective it becomes. Yes, do it faithfully and watch yourself be transformed into a “worshiper of God” not just one who serves Him but who knows and worships Him in spirit and truth.

~

    

FORGIVENESS: The Reason For Your Pain...part ll

           

     I felt led to continue with what we were talking about on pain and forgiveness and how intricately they are woven together, as just this past week, I have had to experience and put into practice some of my own thoughts and advice on forgiveness, and I can tell you that forgiveness in its practiced and active state is powerful!  Being on the receiving end of it is powerful as well!

     When you know that you have deeply hurt or harmed someone close or important to you and they have chosen to forgive you (when you ask), and not hold it against you, it really allows for healing before things fester and get worse.  We all know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the hurt, but when we can imagine how deep or scarring our actions might be to another we are better able to see and realize we don’t want to cause pain, we want to be a part of the healing process, not the hurting process.

     In the last article I talked about forgiving people in our past who have really caused us some deep rooted pain and what we tend to view as damage—as in forever damaged, but the damage can be healed and made whole and that is exactly what God wants to do, and if we let Him do it, it will bring glory and honor to Him and His kingdom.

     Some of the problem in forgiving people who have hurt you in the past could be that the damage or abuse is still happening and or the only way it ended or will end is to distance yourself from that person or people.  This truly is a difficult situation as I have this issue in my own life and consequently don’t have certain people in my life who should be and who I ultimately want in my life.  I cannot at this time attempt to have them in my life as the relationship would not be healthy and or Christ centered. But, I do want to operate in active forgiveness toward them so that someday maybe there can be a healthy and Christ centered relationship between us.

     I am going to say something at this point and I want everyone to know that I am speaking to myself as much as anyone else—we all have pain, but we have a tendency to think or feel our pain hurts worse than someone else’s. The degree or depth of our own pain and suffering causes us to think sometimes that we have been hurt deeply enough that it somehow relinquishes us from forgiveness, both receiving it and giving it.

 

     There is nothing you have endured at the hands of any other person that could measure up to the suffering our Savior went through for us.  Nothing! This helped me when I started to really think about it—not only did Jesus endure the physical pain of being nailed to the cross, the brutal beating on His back (for our physical healing), not to mention, the emotional and psychological pain he went through, but He went through all of this KNOWING beforehand, the pain and agony to come!  If any of us knew the pain we were going to go through and we had a choice to not go through any of it, even if our pain could help or save another, we would say no thank you. He did not! Jesus is our example and He endured pain and suffering and He did it for us. Our pain is meant to help and heal another, if we let it!

Once again, this puts a different light on how we see our pain and I really believe that is the key to this active forgiveness taking up residency in our hearts.

  

     What can be a real beginning in this process of forgiveness is to remember that we are now new creations in Him, before we were born again and before we knew our Savior we were dysfunctional and unhealthy in our emotions and (probably) our bodies as well. That made functioning like productive and healthy people impossible, but now we are functioning and we are productive and we are whole by the power and the blood of Jesus.

     No more harboring bad or negative feelings or unforgiveness in our hearts. In the past, before I let Jesus show me that He would use my pain to help set others free, I couldn’t let things go because I hadn’t changed and every time my dysfunction (the scars of my past) caused me problems (almost always) I would revert to my past and blame those who have scarred me, but now I can say look at me, now that Jesus has changed the very core of who I am. I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore, I want to show the world that Jesus can do some serious changing us, if we will let Him. 

     I believe people think forgiveness just comes, you say it, and maybe you even mean it, but if you don’t become active it cannot become real and present in you and the life you now live as a new creation in Him. Now viewing or seeing our pain as damage is not the way to look at it—you are now equipped with the tools necessary to help someone else who is going through what you already have or may even still be going through. God wants you to understand that your pain has brought you to the point where you are now, and that God chose you to endure what you did so that you could be used by Him to bring someone else to that same point and place where you are now—forgiven, healed, whole and complete.

     What a different and glorious way to look at our past and the people who helped shape who we are today. And remember, the main person in your life now is Jesus and He says your past is important and not just because of the damage it has caused you, but also because it was meant to bring you to Him, and others to Him once you let Him heal you and forgiveness becomes active and real.  We can’t change if we don’t forgive or receive forgiveness.  I have to say, not thinking about someone or just not thinking hateful thoughts about someone (yourself included) is not forgiving, it is harboring and there is a big difference between the two. 

     Once we understand our pain and now how it directly relates to forgiveness for the people who inflicted or caused it, I think the next step is to ask God what role the person or people will take in your life now that real, true, deep and abiding forgiveness has begun. Maybe it won’t be any more than you really not harboring bad feelings and unforgiveness toward them, especially if they are not born again and not living their life for the Lord. But, it could be that you are the one who is going to help bring them to the Lord so you want to be in tune with what God wants for you and the other person.  Maybe for now it is active forgiveness in your heart and the relationship is going to come later, but you want active, living and abiding forgiveness in your heart and on ready. You will want a place available in your heart when that time comes. Remember, we control what goes in and out of our heart.

     Another thing that is helpful when dealing with the pain of your past and the people responsible is to think about a relationship with this person or people, think about what that would be like in its healthiest state, entertain thoughts of what it would be like to have a Christian, Christ centered relationship with them. If you find this almost impossible to do, try to remember that God wants them to make heaven their home just as much as He wants you there!  2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise…, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (NKJV)

      If forgiveness were an easy thing to do would Jesus have told us so many times that we must forgive or we will not be forgiven? I don’t think so. Again I will say, He is our perfect example, no one could go through what He endured for us and not only forgive us, but want a relationship with us afterwards and He wants us to do the same thing with those who have hurt us. We can only do that by abiding in His forgiveness, in and of ourselves we cannot.

     Sometimes when it is hard to get along with someone I remind myself that they are going to be in heaven with me so I better learn to not only get along with them, but I better learn to love them as well! Do we think heaven is full of people who just go around ignoring or tolerating each other? I don’t think so.

     Whatever we do is supposed to bring glory and honor to God and believe me when you extend forgiveness to someone the secular world would say doesn’t deserve it you bring Him glory and people want to know this God who could heal those kind of deep wounds. Let’s try to remember that the next time we are licking our wounds and wallowing in the pain of our past. 

     Jesus wants us living and abiding in the same kind of forgiveness He died to give us.

~

     

FORGIVENESS: Understanding The Reason For Your Pain

There are issues of forgiveness in my life--both receiving and reciprocating it. There, I said it, now let me explain…

      I know that forgiveness is a choice, but I believe that is the first step in a “process” of forgiveness. I don’t think you can just suddenly find a place in your heart for forgiveness that wasn’t already there. You have to clean your heart out and make room for this new thing of forgiveness, think about that for a minute, because you had something in your heart for whoever you need to forgive and if it wasn’t forgiveness and love then you need to get rid of whatever it was and make room for the “new” thing you are going to let fill your heart about that person. You also have to clear out a place of love for the person you have forgiven, and that is going to be a process, and you are going to need the help of Jesus. This is where that old cliché rings true, it is easier said than done. It is possible though, and we must forgive others as God has forgiven us.

     In Matthew 6:9 Jesus begins teaching how we should pray and in The Lord’s Prayer verse 12 He says, ”And forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Down in verses 14 and 15 Jesus tells us that if we forgive we will be forgiven; if we don’t forgive we will not be forgiven. I think forgiveness is a serious enough issue that it needs to be lasting and active in our hearts.

      I think people believe they have forgiven when, in fact, they have not.  Forgiveness is an issue with more people than would probably be willing to admit, but for those of us with addiction in our past we have a hard time because the hurt others inflicted on us is the very root of our being drawn to an addiction in the first place. We were seeking something we didn’t get from important, impactful people in our lives and the hurt made us look for it in an external way even though the hurt was not external, it was and is internal. This is why The Answer is Jesus inside of us!

       It can also be the reason we seem to forgive and to take it back.

     I have what I consider relapses in forgiveness. Walking in forgiveness and all its wonderful glory one month (week or day) and wallowing in the shame and guilt of my past, and the anger of those who have hurt me the next. In other words, giving up my own already paid for forgiveness and rescinding any forgiveness I have already given to those who have hurt me. Now, this is not physically happening (I’m not telling anyone I no longer forgive them), but it is something that is taking place spiritually in my heart. This is why I think that the process of forgiving works better than just choosing to forgive.

      It took time and a process to hurt you, and it took time and a process for you to become damaged and broken from that hurt so it makes sense that giving this over to God is a process. He can do whatever needs to be done in a split second, but He knows that we need a process in order for it to become effective, active and lasting.

     Even our salvation is a process. Philippians 2:12 (NKJV) says, “...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” That part of the verse suggests to me that there is a process we will go through to “work out our salvation”. Our salvation is not a onetime thing it is a journey that we now travel with Jesus and the Holy Spirit inside of us and the destination is heaven where God the Father waits and longs for us. I do not mean that we can obtain our salvation through works, we cannot. I am saying that once we are saved it doesn't stop there, the journey goes on and there is a final destination.

     Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we treat forgiveness as something we can give and take back and we are told that we must forgive even as our Father has forgiven us, but if we really do it in our hearts and not just with our mouths then it has to be done by understanding what the hurt has done and that it has caused the pain in our lives ultimately to bring us and glory to God!

      When we see that our pain even though caused and inflicted by someone else is the reason we came to God, we can, instead of holding anger and hate for them, actually begin to even be thankful to them, for without our testimony of what God saved us out of (the pain they inflicted) we would not know our Savior and we would not know the power of being set free and now the purpose of being used for His kingdom! 

     Everything with God and the “new” He does in us is supposed to change us from deep within so that we are indeed becoming “new creations in Him” and that what is happening in us is not only active and lasting so that we have an abundantly blessed life in Him, but that others see what He is doing in us and they can’t deny His power—at least in our life, even if they don’t want it for themselves. Someday they will.

                                                                                                           

      When Jesus went to the cross so that we could be forgiven it was not some light thing He just made a choice to do. First of all, that was the very reason He was born, to die for us, but as the time to actually give His life up for us was drawing nearer He asked God the Father if there was any way at all that He might not have to actually go through with it, Matthew 26:39 (NKJV), “He went a little farther and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.’” Our Savior, “fell on His face” in distress and sorrow over what was about to happen to Him so that we could receive AND give forgiveness. It is serious!

     So how do we obtain and maintain forgiveness in our hearts and lives? Well, here’s what God has been showing me in my heart.

      I am referring to forgiveness from and for serious life issues, I am not referring to, for instance, someone took your usual seat at church and you got irritated with them and since last Sunday you have been snubbing them, they probably aren’t even aware of it and you bringing it up now will likely, only cause serious issues between you both— besides, those are the kind of issues that should be a quick and simple choice to forgive, they don’t need a process, they have not caused long term damage, and forgive these right away so that they don’t become bigger issues. I am talking about forgiveness for someone in your life who caused you some serious and deep pain and what you think is long term damage. God will show you it is not long term damage anymore! He is about to set you free!  

     Let’s say you have now made a choice to begin the process of forgiveness—will the decision be to now love them or just not think terrible, yes even hateful thoughts about them anymore or will it be to not think about them at all?  I asked God, what is the answer here? My heart got this—of course you ultimately want love to reign in your heart and God will honor that you have begun the “process” of forgiveness, because your heart is now in the state of readiness to forgive.  

     Ask Him to begin to really give you a love for that person and an understanding of their damage and pain. Hurt people, hurt people.   Even if you are aware of someone’s issues in life and what kind of damage and pain they have endured you do not know the extent of how deeply someone might be or has been hurt. Only God Himself knows just how deeply we have been wounded because He is the one who is going to heal our brokenness. A good start is to ask Him to give you an understanding that those who have hurt and harmed you have also suffered at the hands of another.

     There is purpose in pain. Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book, The Prophet, “…And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’ But I say unto you, they are inseparable.” This is so true; we can’t enjoy the one without having experienced the other. We would not even know how to embrace joy if we had not endured sorrow.

     So if we can now look at our pain differently we can begin to look differently at those who were or are involved in causing or inflicting it.

     How boring and dull would this world be if there were no wounded people? Think about that, we all have pain and some degree of dysfunction in us and each one of us have a story to tell of how God is changing the pain of our past and making it into His beautiful story of redemption and creating in us the creations He always intended us to be. That my friend is exciting news—because we are part of God Almighty’s Destiny and there is nothing boring or dull about God and His plans! 

     Once we realize this we can begin to ask God the true purpose for the pain in our past because there is a purpose for it, I assure you that you did not suffer in vain. It is part of this wonderful plan that He has for your life and He will use your pain to heal someone else’s—that is just how God works. I don’t know about you, but that makes me (and the pain of my past) seem very special to God and His overall plan!

      I wanted to make sure that we all understand that forgiving as our Father forgave is the kind of forgiveness that will need His power active and lasting in us. He forgave us and offered up His Son for our forgiveness—not one of us could or would give up a child for anyone or anything!   

                                                                             

     I think we should talk more about pain and forgiveness, but I don’t want to overwhelm anyone—myself included. Remember I said in the beginning that I have my own issues with forgiveness so these are steps I’m taking and a process I am going through with some people in my own life. But, the good news is the Good News and Jesus is with me (and you) every step of the way.

~

"I'll Always Love You and I'll Never Leave You"

            "I’ll always love you and I’ll never leave you.” He said it and yes I had heard it before, but this time it would be different, this time I knew it would somehow be different. I don’t know why I thought for a second that anything would be different, after all, everything  was happening just as it usually did. Why did I think something was going to be different?

Nothing changes unless something changes.

       I have taken longer to post than usual and I am sorry for that. God has been guiding and leading me about what to write and share and it is going to get more personal so I had to really seek Him about specifically what to share and how to talk about such “tender” issues.

     My heart is to share and not only in doing so continue to heal wounds and scars of my own past, but also to hopefully, maybe, touch another’s life and help them find some hope through my story.

     I have said a few times in past articles that people can be addicted to people—the secular world and the addiction “specialists” call it codependency. Whatever you want to call it, it is an unnatural desire for another person to the point that it becomes interruptive to one’s ability to function, thrive and grow.

       “I’ll always love you and I’ll never leave you.” He said it and yes I had heard it before, but this time it would be different this time I knew it would somehow be different. I don’t know why I thought for a second that anything would be different, after all, everything was happening just as it usually did. Why did I think something was going to be different?

      He had come into my life talking tales of love and happiness as though they were something he knew anything about. And I hungered and thirsted for something, someone, enough to believe what he was telling me. The word tales here has a double meaning which fits what I’m referring to—a tale is an account or description of something (the great life he was promising), and a tale is a little fib or lie (the not so great truth that he wasn’t promising).  Over the years this would come to be my story and it would not be specific to any one man, but in fact a few men.

      I must say at this point I was not addicted to sex; however, when you have self-esteem issues as a young woman who didn’t have many or you had lacking or nonexistent healthy relationships with men you will begin to get your identity in sexual relationships in hopes that someday one of them will finally “notice” YOU and subsequently fall madly in love with you. In reality it doesn’t work like that—instead the more you give intimately of yourself the more your self-esteem is shredded to pieces. There is nothing more damaging to your self than to have given your most intimate parts to someone only to have them not want you anymore—ouch! That is pain that goes deep. I know. This is how damaging it is, the bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 6: 18 (NKJV), “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” It is damaging to the very core of who we are.

     I spent most of my young adult life being addicted, codependent or unusually, abnormally attached to men. Not necessarily any specific man, I mean, if any certain one stayed around long enough to make the unusual attachment more intense and “love like” to me then I would think, feel, or surmise that yes indeed he loves me and he might be one that was a little more difficult to get over when the time for leaving me came, but that is the only specifics about it. And of course, there was never any doubt that it was love that I was experiencing even though I really had no idea what love even was.

      I am sort of like the Samaritan woman at the well. Read the (true) story in John 4:7-29. I have been married four times. I was married the first time when I was only fourteen years old and I was honestly only in love with one of my husbands. Even that love, I would come to find out 5 years later, was not the kind of love I needed and I finally realized I didn’t want it either.

      I was on my fourth marriage and I was just figuring out a man can’t make me happy and this guy loves me the best way he knows how, it just isn’t enough for me.

     If we have never fully known love we will look for it almost anywhere, yes, sometimes even where we have already looked and not found it. And we will think and feel that emotions are somehow connected to real, true love. Yes, we can and should have emotional feelings for people we love and care about, but having feelings for someone does not mean we love them and it certainly does not mean they love us!

     I didn’t want this to be a lesson on love because everyone is an expert and really no one knows what they are talking about, unless they are talking about God’s love. God’s love is agape love which means it is unconditional love, there are no strings attached to it and you don’t have to pay a price for it.

     The world’s idea of love or the love that our flesh is familiar with is a love that always costs someone something. It is painful in its very nature and we only think or feel that someone loves us if we hurt either when we have it (love), or if we suddenly don’t. Codependent people become so familiar with the abuse and or neglect from others that when they don’t have it they feel as though they can’t go on. They “feel” unloved.

     Love is not a feeling. We have all heard this a million times, but people who have never known God’s agape love and who are codependent don’t seem to be able to separate the two.

     Even though I finally got over my thing of needing a man in my life, it wasn’t until I let God be the thing I needed that I finally felt fulfilled. He is the only man I need in my life and I have been set free from getting my identity and sense of worth through a mere man.

     Isaiah 54:5-6 (NIV) “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is His name...The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—a wife married young, only to be rejected.” I have clung to these scriptures because they are my story. I was married young, rejected and abandoned by so many men who said to me, “I’ll always love you and I’ll never leave you.” Jesus is the only one who can say that statement to us and mean it! He is the only one who cannot (if we have accepted Him as Savior) ever leave us and if He went to His death so we could have life—He really, truly, with no strings attached—loves us. Think about that for a minute, before He knew we would accept Him, He still died for us, and He knew that some would never accept Him yet He died for them also.  I believe that qualifies as real love.

     I began in my life to let My Savior “court” me, and in turn, I am courting Him. Yes, guess who I finally “let” fall madly in love with me? My Savior, the lover of my soul.  I talk to Him like I would a husband, and I talk to Him like a close friend, because He is. I tell  Him everything and if I get too lonely I ask Him to bring healthy people into my life and He does. Jesus is my everything and my all! 

     I have been happily and joyfully in a committed relationship with Jesus Christ for years now, and I have never been happier. I have been single and without a man of many tales for over 10 years now, and I am truly blessed. The wonderful thing is that I can take what I have learned and am still learning about my relationship with Jesus and make it the center of any and all of my relationships and they will be better because of it.

     Jesus longs to know me and I long to know Him. If I miss a day of prayer with Him I truly miss Him, and feel lonely for Him! I can’t wait to get my heart connected with His and it is a relationship I treasure and want to nurture and have grow. His words are “love letters” to me and I read it as such. His word teaches me about His Ways and His Heart and guides me on how to open up my heart and my ways to Him—just the way a healthy, vibrant relationship should be.  

     Those of you who find yourself in relationship after relationship and you can’t seem to ever find love—STOP looking, let it find you! Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock...” Revelation 3: 20 (NKJV), let Him be the love of your life, and you will finally know happiness.

     Jesus is the Only One who can ever say to any of us—“I’ll Always Love You and I’ll Never Leave You”—He means it. Let Him love you today.

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