"Share With Me Your Sadness and I Will Restore Your Joy"

       I have had to really seek God during this past week. Some of you may know about the recent wildfire in Arizona that took the lives of 19 HotShot firefighters and I not only live in Arizona but I live about 22 miles from where the fire burned out of control for days. I have family and friends who were affected by this fire and I was so sad and devastated by the loss of life and homes that I started to be overcome with sadness until I sought God and shared my sadness with Him. 

     We can give everything to God. What a blessing, what a privilege and what a joy to experience a God who not only wants us to give our heartache and all of our sadness to Him but He wants us to know He cares about all of it. He doesn’t just tell us to give it to Him so He can throw it away like it doesn’t matter. But He is a God who wants to know who, what, why and how does something cause us to take our hearts and our minds off of who He is and what He’s done to the point our joy has been overcome by sadness and sorrow?! He is there calling to us and saying “I love you with a love that has power over all your hurt!” He wants us to examine our hearts and hurts and learn why we lost our hope that is in Him.

     

     That doesn’t mean we are never to feel sadness or other emotions; after all, it is God our Creator who created us with our emotions, but He does want us to share with Him our emotions, our feelings, our hurts and our sorrows, and yes, our good and joyous times too—our “everything”. God wants to and should be part of everything we do and all that we are. So, not if, but, when you are experiencing sadness or sorrow in your life you can learn to share it with Him and let His light shine through the darkness of your sorrow.

     We can learn to share our sadness and sorrow with God by learning and living in His word and such scriptures as these beautiful verses in psalms (prayers and songs) which David wrote when he was seeking God during troublesome times. Psalm 34:17-19 (NKJV), “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.” If we understand that God wants to be a part of everything we do and all that we go through we can learn, grow, and even experience our sadness through Jesus and let Him get us through it His way so that we don’t start to succumb to it. Also, we will somehow grow from it because nothing we experience or go through is ever in vain.

     We can feed, grow and live on His word and see that there is help for us when we are hurting and we can let Him get us back to a place of joy and we can grow even in and through our sorrows. One way we can do this is to seek Him (once again) in the form of worship. Honestly, there are so many ways to worship God and there are so many benefits to doing it that you cannot go wrong if you do nothing in a crisis but worship and or praise Him—and if more needs to be done He will show you.  

     Another way we can experience our God is to taste of the Lord’s goodness and remember that we serve a God who can be tasted if we will do it with our spirit and everything that is in us. Psalm 34:8 (NKJV), “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” When I read this scripture it speaks to me that we have to taste Him with our spirit. Let’s look at another scripture and we will look at two versions because they are both important and profound, 1 Peter 2:2-3 (NKJV) “As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.”  This scripture tells us that not only will we grow if we “feed” on “the pure milk of the word”, but that we will “desire the...Word” if we have tasted the graciousness of the Lord. In the amplified version that scripture is stated like this (and I just love it), “Like newborn babies you should crave (thirst for, earnestly desire) the pure (unadulterated) spiritual milk, that by it you may be nurtured and grow unto [completed] salvation, since you have [already] tasted the goodness and kindness of the Lord.”

     Wow, our Lord can be tasted! That might seem strange to some of you who might be new to the family of God, but the thing is, it is possible to taste our Lord with our spirit if we understand that God is a living God and everything about Him is living and full of life! All living things grow and we should too, we are supposed to grow in Him and how we do that is by doing just what the scripture tells us—by desiring and feeding on “the pure ‘(unadulterated) spiritual’ milk of the word.”

     We can grow and be healed from our pain and sorrow by turning it over and, I like to say, sharing it with Him because I didn’t experience my feelings as a child so I need to learn how to experience my emotions without letting them rule and reign me. I don’t say I just give my “stuff” over to God but that I share my feelings and emotions with my Savior and Creator who knows all about them and wants me to experience and use them for good (His good).

     God and His word are the best, top of the line, never generic, always “name brand”, medicine, therapy and food for whatever sickness, sorrow and famine our life is taking us through and He so wants to be what and who we reach for when we are hurting the most!  

    

     

     The Psalms are songs and prayers which (most of them) were written by King David and although it was during troubled times for David which is evident when he writes “Many are the afflictions of the righteous…” but then he goes on to write “…But the Lord delivers him out of them all.” David also writes as a prayer in Psalm 86:7 (NKJV), “In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, For You will answer me”, David doesn’t deny that affliction and trouble are present but he constantly seeks the help of God as he says in Psalm 54:4 (NKJV), “Behold, God is my helper…”, and also in Psalm 54:6-7 (NKJV),  “…I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is good. For He has delivered me out of all trouble.” We can follow King David’s example and seek and sing out to God during our sad and hurtful times because He is the one who will help us and He will restore our joy back to us as only He can. Psalm 51:12 (NKJV), “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous spirit.”

     He will restore our joy back to us after we have shared what, why and the things, feelings or emotions that caused us to give up our joy in the first place. He knows about your pain let Him show you how to grow through it and discover just how much He really cares about what troubles you as we can read in Psalm 55:22 (NKJV), “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Also, in Psalm 46:1 (NKJV) it tells us that “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” These scriptures are where to turn when we need comfort and help during sad and sorrowful times and He is our PRESENT help in times of trouble!

     When I was becoming so sad that I had lost my joy in Jesus, I had to get ahold of these scriptures and share my sorrow with Him and let Him show me through His word that not only does He want to know what troubles sadden me, but He wants me to know that He is there going through all of it with me, I am never alone!  And of course, He is there for you in your sad and hurtful times as well, all you have to do is seek Him, taste Him and desire to be fed on His word which will bring peace and healing to your sadness and sorrow.  We don’t have to deny that pain and sorrow exist we just need to share and experience it with Jesus our precious Lord and Savior who is the expert at getting through painful and sorrowful times to stand victorious in everlasting joy!

      Hallelujah, I love Him so much and I am so thankful to Him that I can go to Him with literally everything I am facing in life and He shows me that His joy is my strength as it says in Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV), “…Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

    

     When you are sad and you spend time talking to Jesus about it, but don’t try to hide how you really feel because God knows your heart and what is going on deep inside of you anyway, then you will begin to experience a peace and a comfort that only He can give to you. And don’t forget to feed on and taste the goodness of the Lord through the pure milk of His word and worship to Him. By doing this you will be sharing your sadness with Him and I promise you He will restore your joy.

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FORGIVENESS: Understanding The Reason For Your Pain

There are issues of forgiveness in my life--both receiving and reciprocating it. There, I said it, now let me explain…

      I know that forgiveness is a choice, but I believe that is the first step in a “process” of forgiveness. I don’t think you can just suddenly find a place in your heart for forgiveness that wasn’t already there. You have to clean your heart out and make room for this new thing of forgiveness, think about that for a minute, because you had something in your heart for whoever you need to forgive and if it wasn’t forgiveness and love then you need to get rid of whatever it was and make room for the “new” thing you are going to let fill your heart about that person. You also have to clear out a place of love for the person you have forgiven, and that is going to be a process, and you are going to need the help of Jesus. This is where that old cliché rings true, it is easier said than done. It is possible though, and we must forgive others as God has forgiven us.

     In Matthew 6:9 Jesus begins teaching how we should pray and in The Lord’s Prayer verse 12 He says, ”And forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Down in verses 14 and 15 Jesus tells us that if we forgive we will be forgiven; if we don’t forgive we will not be forgiven. I think forgiveness is a serious enough issue that it needs to be lasting and active in our hearts.

      I think people believe they have forgiven when, in fact, they have not.  Forgiveness is an issue with more people than would probably be willing to admit, but for those of us with addiction in our past we have a hard time because the hurt others inflicted on us is the very root of our being drawn to an addiction in the first place. We were seeking something we didn’t get from important, impactful people in our lives and the hurt made us look for it in an external way even though the hurt was not external, it was and is internal. This is why The Answer is Jesus inside of us!

       It can also be the reason we seem to forgive and to take it back.

     I have what I consider relapses in forgiveness. Walking in forgiveness and all its wonderful glory one month (week or day) and wallowing in the shame and guilt of my past, and the anger of those who have hurt me the next. In other words, giving up my own already paid for forgiveness and rescinding any forgiveness I have already given to those who have hurt me. Now, this is not physically happening (I’m not telling anyone I no longer forgive them), but it is something that is taking place spiritually in my heart. This is why I think that the process of forgiving works better than just choosing to forgive.

      It took time and a process to hurt you, and it took time and a process for you to become damaged and broken from that hurt so it makes sense that giving this over to God is a process. He can do whatever needs to be done in a split second, but He knows that we need a process in order for it to become effective, active and lasting.

     Even our salvation is a process. Philippians 2:12 (NKJV) says, “...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” That part of the verse suggests to me that there is a process we will go through to “work out our salvation”. Our salvation is not a onetime thing it is a journey that we now travel with Jesus and the Holy Spirit inside of us and the destination is heaven where God the Father waits and longs for us. I do not mean that we can obtain our salvation through works, we cannot. I am saying that once we are saved it doesn't stop there, the journey goes on and there is a final destination.

     Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting we treat forgiveness as something we can give and take back and we are told that we must forgive even as our Father has forgiven us, but if we really do it in our hearts and not just with our mouths then it has to be done by understanding what the hurt has done and that it has caused the pain in our lives ultimately to bring us and glory to God!

      When we see that our pain even though caused and inflicted by someone else is the reason we came to God, we can, instead of holding anger and hate for them, actually begin to even be thankful to them, for without our testimony of what God saved us out of (the pain they inflicted) we would not know our Savior and we would not know the power of being set free and now the purpose of being used for His kingdom! 

     Everything with God and the “new” He does in us is supposed to change us from deep within so that we are indeed becoming “new creations in Him” and that what is happening in us is not only active and lasting so that we have an abundantly blessed life in Him, but that others see what He is doing in us and they can’t deny His power—at least in our life, even if they don’t want it for themselves. Someday they will.

                                                                                                           

      When Jesus went to the cross so that we could be forgiven it was not some light thing He just made a choice to do. First of all, that was the very reason He was born, to die for us, but as the time to actually give His life up for us was drawing nearer He asked God the Father if there was any way at all that He might not have to actually go through with it, Matthew 26:39 (NKJV), “He went a little farther and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.’” Our Savior, “fell on His face” in distress and sorrow over what was about to happen to Him so that we could receive AND give forgiveness. It is serious!

     So how do we obtain and maintain forgiveness in our hearts and lives? Well, here’s what God has been showing me in my heart.

      I am referring to forgiveness from and for serious life issues, I am not referring to, for instance, someone took your usual seat at church and you got irritated with them and since last Sunday you have been snubbing them, they probably aren’t even aware of it and you bringing it up now will likely, only cause serious issues between you both— besides, those are the kind of issues that should be a quick and simple choice to forgive, they don’t need a process, they have not caused long term damage, and forgive these right away so that they don’t become bigger issues. I am talking about forgiveness for someone in your life who caused you some serious and deep pain and what you think is long term damage. God will show you it is not long term damage anymore! He is about to set you free!  

     Let’s say you have now made a choice to begin the process of forgiveness—will the decision be to now love them or just not think terrible, yes even hateful thoughts about them anymore or will it be to not think about them at all?  I asked God, what is the answer here? My heart got this—of course you ultimately want love to reign in your heart and God will honor that you have begun the “process” of forgiveness, because your heart is now in the state of readiness to forgive.  

     Ask Him to begin to really give you a love for that person and an understanding of their damage and pain. Hurt people, hurt people.   Even if you are aware of someone’s issues in life and what kind of damage and pain they have endured you do not know the extent of how deeply someone might be or has been hurt. Only God Himself knows just how deeply we have been wounded because He is the one who is going to heal our brokenness. A good start is to ask Him to give you an understanding that those who have hurt and harmed you have also suffered at the hands of another.

     There is purpose in pain. Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book, The Prophet, “…And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’ But I say unto you, they are inseparable.” This is so true; we can’t enjoy the one without having experienced the other. We would not even know how to embrace joy if we had not endured sorrow.

     So if we can now look at our pain differently we can begin to look differently at those who were or are involved in causing or inflicting it.

     How boring and dull would this world be if there were no wounded people? Think about that, we all have pain and some degree of dysfunction in us and each one of us have a story to tell of how God is changing the pain of our past and making it into His beautiful story of redemption and creating in us the creations He always intended us to be. That my friend is exciting news—because we are part of God Almighty’s Destiny and there is nothing boring or dull about God and His plans! 

     Once we realize this we can begin to ask God the true purpose for the pain in our past because there is a purpose for it, I assure you that you did not suffer in vain. It is part of this wonderful plan that He has for your life and He will use your pain to heal someone else’s—that is just how God works. I don’t know about you, but that makes me (and the pain of my past) seem very special to God and His overall plan!

      I wanted to make sure that we all understand that forgiving as our Father forgave is the kind of forgiveness that will need His power active and lasting in us. He forgave us and offered up His Son for our forgiveness—not one of us could or would give up a child for anyone or anything!   

                                                                             

     I think we should talk more about pain and forgiveness, but I don’t want to overwhelm anyone—myself included. Remember I said in the beginning that I have my own issues with forgiveness so these are steps I’m taking and a process I am going through with some people in my own life. But, the good news is the Good News and Jesus is with me (and you) every step of the way.

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